The best moment for me was after the game.

For most people tonight the Super Bowl was the event to watch on TV. For me it was just a prelude to the real excitment. For those of you who haven't heard me say it: I love watching "House". Now I'm not saying that tonight's game wasn't the best Super Bowl in years; it was. The game was awesome, Tom Petty was great, and the commercials were entertaining just as they always are. However, I was mostly looking forward to the House special that was after the game.


There are some things that people could say about the main character from that show, and most of what they would say are not polite nor pleasant. But, after watching House, I was left wondering about the nature of the character and my ownself as it compares to that character. I was left to think about one part about House's behavior: how he is anti-social. After reading what is true Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD), I don't see those qualities in myself. Mainly, to have APD one must have a pervasive pattern of disregard or violate, the rights of others. If I have one flaw in my romantic relationships is that I am too scared that I will offend the person I'm with or some how not care enough about them. I try to compensate for that which comes off as needy or giving off a sense not having any confidence. House disregards the feelings of others. I don't, and I try not to. So when I say that I might be anti-social then I am just using that as a generalized term.


In my previous post, I talked about that I don't go out very much, and that I live vicariously through the lives and personalities I see on TV. I thought that it might due to that I was just being lazy. But tonight I thought what if I am being anti-social. One of my friends had a little party at a bar last Thursday to celebrate her birthday. Now it is true that the same day I did spent twelve hours at work, and I was tired from that. However, I wanted to party, but I didn't feel like partying. So I sat at the bar, and drank two Guinesses and a couple of shots. I was hardly the life of the party. Also, I am pretty much broke tonight, but I could have gone down to the Front Page to watch the game down there. I hardly speak to any of my roomates, and I mostly watch all my movies alone in my apartment. If not for the hours I spend at work; I would be alone.


Now, I'm not depressed, and I do find that I am happy that I can be independent. But, am I just substituting real independence to be anti-social. Most of time I rationalize that the reason for sitting alone at home all the time and not go out is that I am broke. But there are alot of things that I could do that are free. I could go to a church service, sit out in the sun and people watch while listening to one of my favorite bands, or go window shopping.

So am I anti-social? No, I don't think so. I like being around my co-workers as they are my friends, and I miss my friends from college and Pittsburgh. I feel that I am at a point in my life where living on my own just means that I will be spending more time alone. I think the main cause for this feeling that I am alone is the apartment that I live in. We only share two rooms: the bathroom and the kitchen. There is a common dining room, but we just use it as a storage room. We all watch tv, eat, and relax in our own rooms. I could go a week or two and not see my other roommates. I think I am used to living with more people, and with less room to myself. So unless I want to give up some space then I am just going to have to get used to being more alone. Besides, right now I can pretty much do what I want when I want to do it. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Comparing myself with House shows me that while he might be funnier; I can be a much nicer guy. He's still really cool though.

Here's a clip from the show for your pleasure.



P.S. Oh just something I thought of: I am glad I am not famous. If my fat ass was on TV then I am sure that people would make so much fun of me. I wouldn't mind being rich; just not famous. Just a thought.